What Are You Striving For?

Maybe the point of ambition isn’t to accumulate more accomplishments. Maybe it’s to discover the life, work, and possibilities that allow you to become more fully yourself.

Personal development books, podcasts, and workshops give me a buzz because I’m a striver, and I relish the type of growth that allows you to envision and achieve new things.

You see, I grew up in a home where ambition was on the daily menu, our house filled with constant activity. My dad was servicing clients in his law practice and served on community boards until late in the evening. He eventually ran for office and was elected a judge in our city. My mom was a social worker turned JD, at my dad’s urging, and a corporate executive. She rose to the title of Senior Vice President of a major British-Dutch corporation before hitting the glass ceiling and deciding to start her own business while also engaging in school reform. Pillars in the community, my parents rarely sat still. By proximity, I inherited their constant striving sensibilities.

Here’s the trouble: constant without discernment didn’t suit me. Sure, I saved money and I accomplished things, but those things didn’t make me happy. Why? Because I was simply working my tail off to accumulate thing after thing. I’m not speaking of material things, I’m referring to titles, work, and responsibilities. None were rooted in a purpose or meaning, they were just accomplishment - things. In the pursuit of “all the things” I never paused to consider “me.” What work did I want to do? How did I want to live? Where did I want to live? What fit my personality? How could I turn my life into a valuable, sustainable asset by ensuring that I was at the center of me?

Oprah frequently cites Gary Zukav in The Seat of the Soul, "When we align our thoughts, emotions, and actions with the highest part of ourselves, we are filled with enthusiasm, purpose, and meaning... When the personality comes fully to serve the energy of its soul, that is authentic empowerment."

Some strivers are searching for approval, security, status, money, or proof of their worth. Authentic empowerment is what striving can become once we start asking better questions about what we're pursuing. Authentic empowerment is when you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s where our personality, talents, skills, or ability, and interests coincide. Could it be that authentic empowerment is what gives us purpose and meaning?

You know what fascinates me? The idea that a life isn't a fixed thing we're handed or a ladder we're supposed to climb even though sometimes it feels like it is. Life is something we can examine, reconsider, and shape (at any age or time) around who we truly are and what we want to experience. Life is open. Perspective determines how much of that openness we can see. Exploration expands our perspective. A wider perspective reveals more choices. I know no greater fun than to explore the whole range of possibilities.